Psychology why do people cheat

Cheating was more likely to end a relationship when it arose from anger, lack of love, low commitment or neglect. And it was less likely to do so when the infidelity was circumstantial. Surprisingly, only one in five The same number of couples The remaining relationships broke up for noncheating reasons. Rarely did infidelity lead to a real relationship. Only one out of 10 of the affairs Gary W. Lewandowski, Jr. Already a subscriber? Sign in. Thanks for reading Scientific American.

Create your free account or Sign in to continue. See Subscription Options. Discover World-Changing Science. Get smart. Sign up for our email newsletter. Sign Up. Support science journalism. Sarah McDonald : Which you recognise with your husband, Marnie. Thank you so much for your honesty and your call. So, our number is I mean, is that true Clinton, is there often a reason behind the infidelity. Like Marnie said, it was the terrible trauma from her childhood. Is it always something inside the betrayer or from their background?

Are they repeating patterns? Or can it just be an opportunity and a lack of commitment or …. But I always also think that there are so many other aspects of how this can come about. I mean when you think about today and social media and technology, never before have we been able to lie in bed next to our partner and actually virtually cheat on them.

Sarah McDonald: I mean, but as Marnie said that her husband was so hurt, and she acknowledges his pain, but it must be hard for the betrayed to see the pain of the cheater. And you now need to pay. The couples that get stuck in that, it really inhibits the healing and they need to work collaboratively. But it does have to be a collaborative venture. Do you let them have a couple of weeks? Ripping up clothes, throwing out the window all that sort of stuff like in movies?

Does that stuff all happen? Clinton Power: I mean it happens, naturally. So this is the kind of power dynamic that can start to play out. Yeah, this sort of thing is hard to teach really. And often we are learning it on the actual, on the job so to speak. Later on when it can often be too late. So, how do you decide with a couple whether a relationship is worth saving or not? Clinton Power: Well of course the couple needs to decide this themselves. But some of the things that I do is that we certainly want to look at the relationship history.

We want to find out what drew you together, what attracted you, why did you start this relationship. We certainly look at what kind of problems started to emerge over time. And often when you start uncovering those things you always see there have been issues there that have not been addressed or talked about or resolved.

Jenny: I just wanted to say hello listeners and hello to everybody else, to you there. And his wife knows and is supportive. I suppose I relied on this person to talk to, he was my rock. Cause things were happening at home and I was getting withdrawn within myself and going in depression mode and so forth. Jenny: No, not really, no. No, not really. The situation, it was an emotional situation that spun me into depression mode. And my husband has been … my husband again, put it that way.

And he emotionally supports them and so forth. Or more than that actually. Sarah McDonald: Right, okay. Or not? Jenny: Possibly. So he-. He virtually turned his back on me. Basically in that side of it. So that can be one of the reasons why people cheat. Sarah McDonald: See you later. Hello, Matt. Matt: Yes, I was cheated on while my partner was at work.

And then a few years later the tables had turned and I was the cheater. And now looking back on it how different things were. So he would only like such certain things and I would only like certain things.

Sarah McDonald: And is there pain as the cheater as well? Is there pain, being that person as well? Or guilt or …. Matt: A lot of guilt and pain, cause I broke up with my partner because of it and then told them. And then tried to work my way back in from the outside, sort of outside the relationship. But because I felt that I had to go elsewhere to get that satisfaction, it would have been great if we had maybe spoken about it first or been more open about it or … before it happened.

Sarah McDonald: I appreciate it. Hello, Beth. He may have been cheating. We have an open relationship. Beth: Yes, I think we did, yes. He taught me not to be jealous as well. Can you learn it, Clinton? Sarah McDonald: Yeah, to get rid of jealousy. They compare themselves to others.

So it often comes from a place of insecurity. Sarah McDonald: Thanks, so yeah Beth managed that way with just negotiated at the beginning of a relationship. Can that work? However, according to research conducted by Dr.

Instead, psychologists have narrowed down some of the most common reasons people give for cheating on their spouses, which include:. These motives vary from how you view yourself to how you view your relationship and the context of the situation at hand. When it comes to putting a label on infidelity, there is very rarely just one factor involved.

Skip to content Photo by Tero Vesalainen on Shutterstock What are the most common reasons for cheating in a relationship? Key Takeaways. Jaimee Bell. Copy a link to the article entitled Share The psychology of infidelity: Why do we cheat? What personality traits make a person more or less likely to cheat on a spouse?

In this article. A recent study illuminated surprising differences in how men and women seek help when struggling with relationships. The Present. Strange Maps.