Why guys approach girls

I find you attractive and would like to know if that feeling is reciprocated. The first is usually hoping that I look OK, that my breath doesn't smell, and that my hands aren't too extremely sweaty for if a handshake occurs.

They are always extremely sweaty. But the thing I find myself thinking the most about—and this is probably horrible, because it's not helping me go into this approach with confidence—is how I'm going to gracefully exit if I'm shot down or flat-out ignored.

Before I even make my approach, I'm already plotting out a route of egress. If she's been glancing around the room, not even necessarily at me but at other guys, I would acknowledge that maybe she's trying to meet someone of the opposite sex.

I don't really feel nervous about going up to someone or potentially being rejected. I'm there to have fun, so why should they influence my life that much? When in doubt, I compliment an un-sexual part of her outfit, like her earrings. Sometimes I also just do a 'this or that,' question, like 'pineapple or kiwi?

Gauging whether she'd be a good fit for me rather than keeping it general is a defensive strategy. That way if she's not into me, I can tell myself we weren't a match. If we only talk about general things, it's easier to think she specifically didn't like me.

I pause and do my best to think of nothing else so I'm not distracted. Then I analyze the situation to determine the best way to start a conversation, so I look around to see if there's anything interesting going on. But guys who take the time to learn the fundamentals on how to approach a woman no longer have that issue, and therefore have an easy time approaching women wherever they go. And the way to get that invitation is with eye contact. When you see an attractive girl you want to approach, the first thing you want to do is make eye contact.

If she looks up and catches your gaze, holds that eye contact and give her a relaxed smile. A good approach comes down to having the right body language. Girls notice that and are instantly turned off. Walking up to a girl without even thinking about it will not only make you look more confident, it will prevent that approach anxiety from taking over. You can approach women absolutely anywhere. Even if a girl is simply walking down the street, you can stop her and engage the woman in the conversation right then and there.

Of course, stopping a girl on the street is going to look different than walking up to a girl at a bar. It's tough enough to walk up to one girl, let alone a group. If she's super-hot , sometimes I assume I have no chance or I'm just plain intimidated.

Most guys will give it the old college try though. This, by the way, is the best reason for your ego why guys aren't approaching: "I'm just so hot I'm intimidating. Dancing on Tables aka Super-Drunk Girl. One night, we were out and a girl intermittently stood up on the seat of her booth and did stripper-type dances. The guys in the bar looked, but never approached. It's tough to approach a whirling dervish and no one could take her seriously. And sometimes the "too drunk" girl gets approached by guys who are interested in one thing only.

I don't usually approach girls who don't look stylish and put together. Now, if you want to keep guys away from you, doing the "celeb in public homeless look" might be a good strategy. Smiling and eye contact is inviting, while anger, and looking like you're too good for everyone, drives people away. Try to give off positive vibes, and more people will approach. You appear to be taken if you arrive with guys, or meet guys while you're out.

Guys have no way of knowing if you're "with" a guy. Some guys might ask, but some might just move on to someone who looks more available. Now I'll admit that I'm clueless, even for a guy. I know one has a big diamond, and one looks like a simple ring.